Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
