What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
