Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
