he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
