I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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