A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
