Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
