I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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