I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
