at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
