Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
as a side note pls kill me
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
