Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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