I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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