Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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