Even the bartender felt bad for me
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
