Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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