I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
