Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
