hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
