I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
