i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
