Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
