she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
