Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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