He is such a slut. More and more my type.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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