I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
