I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
