it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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