Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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