so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
