I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
