can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
