so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
