According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
