we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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