we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
