I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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