i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
