Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
