I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
