i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
