I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
