he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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