you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
