I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
