True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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