I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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