the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
