She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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