i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
