At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
