guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I need moral support for this bender
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
