she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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