Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
How naked do you want me to be?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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